Orphaned…

It just wasn’t the same, it didn’t feel right. The first night I slept in my moms house after she passed away was such a feeling of being lost, alone, without. My siblings and I had become ophans. It wasn’t like we knew the day would never come, her life was failing and ebbing out of her, yet we held on. She was our mom and our family and our home. She was a feeling of comfort and belonging that God had given us.

I know everyone goes through these times, some earlier than others, in fact, God blessed us with mom for 98 years. How could we not be thankful for all of those years and memories of having mom. Yet, now we have lost her, and things will be different. We will feel her absence each time the family comes together. The kitchen where she cooked, the table where we sat and ate with her, the living room where we gathered as family to talk and laugh and watch her beloved Rangers baseball team, it will all be different without her.

But, she left something with us…alone but not without. We may be orphaned but her spirit, and her smile, and her wittiness, wisdom, love, and let’s not forget her cooking are still with us. These are all gifts of the legacy she lived in front of us. The greatest gift she left us was her love for God, her faithfulness even through her suffering is important for us to hold on to the rest of our lives. She has fought the good fight, (and it was a fight in those last days), she finished the race, the race and life that God had set out before her, she kept the faith.

She will be missed, she is already missed, but she left us so much. And God used all of her days to show us his great love and grace for us. We are orphaned, she is gone from this earth and we are alone… but not without.

I held her hand, brushed her face, kissed her cheek and told her I would see her again soon. Thank You Lord, for giving me such a beautiful mom as a gift to me and our family, just like you gave your Son…to show us your love.